Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
- The Carpenters
i missed the party last night ! but i went out with uncle david, auntie suzie, cornelius and charlotte ! haha. man, i missed you guys gazillions(: as usual, cornelius and his crappy and lame stuff. haha. they'll be joining us for badminton today. omg yay !
im still a little cranky. thanks to kleo, tess, sean. haha. go away you people ! but i still wanna play mahjong through the night. i was winning lah damn it :D
okay, ive no idea whats going on now. im getting more and more confused. whats this ? dont confuse me even more. im cranky enough. now everything's in a mess and im trying to put all the pieces together ! it's exciting yet annoying.
thanks to weizhen. thankyou for that talk yes ? it was great great. you made me tearr ! omg, youre really who i said you were. living up to your name huh (:
i love you mummy dearest. i really do love you moreee :D
let your heart out.
i cant stand the crankiness ! haha. im going crazy.
dont get me started on hoping all over again.
let your heart out.
man, it's so nice to be with my cousins exchanging gifts. hehheh :D i can hear all of them downstairs screaming "PONG". haha(: it's so fun. we ate at some high class restaurant this year. but somehow all of us prefer coming over to my grandma's and just have potluck like what we do every year. we specially requested to come over to play mahjong and cards. haha.
exchange of gifts was so cool! we were laughing and making so much noise. we practically owned the whole place. okay not owned but there wasnt anyone else except us. which made it so excellent. thankyou kleo and family for the gifts ! haha. it's really nice. and i'll put a nice photo in that. i'll turn the heart to make music. haha. it's something that i wanted. so thanks again !
as usual, the creative adults came up with another plan. haha. next yr christmas is gonna be different again. haha. it's exciting, i'm looking forward to it already. omg omg, i love my family ! haha. im not gonna be able to stop thinking of what to get. YAY((:
uncle pat, you want spongebob boxers ? haha.
i thought i was able to go for 1230 mass and go for the family lunch after. but lunch was at 1300. bleahh- i met the choir peeps after 11 oclock mass. passed them the pressies. hope you like the presents ! and and and thankyou to those who gave me pressies. they're greatt !
my cousins are calling me. ive gotta go.
have yourself a merry little christmas.
let your heart out.
okay, ive vented a whole lot in the last two posts.
mummy, nope. dont like that. it wasnt for you-for you. so i dont blame you for anything. just replying to your tag, yes yes. if i ever need anyone i'll go look for you alright ? i wont blame you for not knowing. sorrye if you thought it was for you, sorry if it hurt you. yeah. thats about it. and you still owe me a meal and a massage (:
haha. i came online just to blog that. i went to my blog and i felt i should just post something up. omg, it's raining now. NOOO. how am i supposed to get to church for midnight mass practice ? damn, im gonna be late. shouldve woke up early to meet mummy, chris and daph for breakfast. haha. then i wouldnt have had this problem ! shhite, it's a passing rain. -crosses fingers.
misery, is what i feel when youre not around.
let your heart out.
the rest are just gonna be me talking to myself. venting ! /:
okay the thing is, im not pissed at you. it's not you that im pissed and annoyed at. im just irritated at the fact that there's so many times people has gotta choose between you or i. and it sucks all the more when you're the one being chosen. it happens all the time. some of the people i was so close to actually chose you over me. you cant really blame me for feeling this way can you ? i mean, how would you feel. and yes, stop trying to make me feel so much worse but rubbing everything in and throwing them right at my face. lets see what'll happen next year.
and you, stop it. stop it stop it. there's already so much chaos and irritation and you've just gotta make it worse. because you're the one doing it, it hurts even more. i really didnt think you would do it. if you were gonna do that, then i'd rather you not do it at all. it hurts so much lesser.
im so not like her. i cant act as well. when im pissed, im pissed. and i just stone every single time you ask me to explain. so please, no explanations. i'd rather me venting and getting all worked up. i dont like it tho. ive told myself to try, but it so doesnt work out. maybe not for you, but for me. i feel the gap after so long. we've drifted, we so did. dont try to deny it. you wont feel it, trust me. ugh, never mind. dont try giving me anymore crap okay. dont lie to me. i'd rather know the truth than being lied to. and it hurts even more. youre also another one who hurts me double with those words, those actions. i'll just continue trying to put on a happy and cheery front for you. then there wont be any problems. i'll just be bleeding inside.
i'd never fall in love again.
let your heart out.
went to coral secondary to watch the band concert. okay, i didnt watch it. i was busy doing work. if there's a need for me to give my comments, im sorry i cant do it. the only times i suddenly look up to the stage is when the band suddenly plays this really loud shocking sound.
when i said it, i totally didnt think of that.
you people can go on giving me the "talk to the hand" attitude. it's not really that important now. im so sick and tired of trying to give you explanations. and i jolly well know you guys wont listen to any bit of it. so you can go think in whatever way you want. it was alright at first but dont you think it's really too much of it all ? now because of this whole thing, everything's so changed. im so sorry for venting on you, trish and cari.
i thought it over and i spoke to cari about it all. but somehow i just know something's wrong. i dont understand why im getting this feeling. but eh, if thats some way to show it, then fine. honestly, i dint think it'll be like that. it seems so okay when it's just not me huh. maybe im just thinking too much, looking too much in between those lines. you cant blame me for that because you lead me into doing it.
there's just so much i wanna say and spill out but im gonna hold it all back in.
im replying but it took me so long. im trying to tell you how im feeling but it so isnt working. i keep typing out the msges and deleting them again and again. ugh, it's annoying. then i give up.
ive still presents to buy, gifts to make, cards to send. it's so shhity.
i thought i told you to stop doing all those work ? youre so not getting the appreciation you deserve. why didnt you listen to me ? seee ? youre friggin getting affected all over again. high five, wanna join my club ? youre always welcome.
ignore me, just keep doing it if it pleases you.
let your heart out.
went shopping the whole of yesterday. it packed packed packed. waited for cab. it took ages to come. there were these three people who had slangs that were standing infront of us. one of them was hot. haha. but man, they were commenting on the taxis. this and that. that totally put me off. the language and the actions. oh please.
today was shopping yet again. met two star idol people. haha. oh yes oh yes, i met gladys and suat leng (spelling) just now ! haha. suat's so tall. you can never miss her. gladys, good luck on the shopping(: just go get that dress that you were talking about. haha.
ate at pasta cafe. omg, they should really go tint the glass. it's so yuck to have people staring right at you eat. plus that woman really couldnt stop looking. everyone else just looks away, people-watch. but that woman had her eyes glued. i know im pretty, but please. wahaha :D go tint the glasses !
bought many many things. i hate squeezing, it's so eeyer. /: i should buy my christmas presents way way before christmas. then i wont have this problem. waited for cab. it was l o n g. but luckily i managed to call a cab. a silvercab(: it was shiok inside. the aircon was blowing like crazy and i used the pullover. haha. i used it today !
andrea passed me the onetreehill dvd. she's still stuck with seasontwo so i got it first. ahhh, im hookkedddd. haha(: oh, im proud of myself. i actually did my homework. haha. -claps.
it was a dream. i really hope it was. i had to make the decision. i chose you. was that a right move ? it was friggin scary. i never want to do it again. ugh. but whatever it is, you're still loved by me. thats for sure.
why is everyone starting to smell the same ? i went shopping and everywhere i turned, everywhere i walked, everyone just smelled like that. it's freaky. or maybe it's just me ?
billions of souls out there. where are you ?
let your heart out.
today was carolling at raffles. it was actually in swissotel ! oh how i miss the mirrors. teachers teachers, i really dont mind having our graduation thing there, just like this year.
it's so unfair.
i was hyper today. it was just F U N. the yummy food. i dint try the chocolate thing. i really liked gladys's expression when she went "no no no. wait for the choc-co-lattte" that was really good :D i shall not comment anymore. i'll just upload the photos ((:
trisha !
mummy and i (:
KIT !
SEXAYYE :D
mummy and cari
cari cari, BAC !
mummy took this.
this is my first picture with leticia !
hot hot huh (:
sahgu and zeegu :D
ALTOS ALTOS <3
lester
sabbie mummy trishie
a formal one (:
TRISHAHHH and CARISSAAHH (:
SAHGU philip !
trish and i. the lights are nice (:
only you will know. is that a good thing ?
let your heart out.
ONE.
waking up and rushing to church for midnight mass practice.
TWO.
planning what to wear that night.
THREE.
planning where to go after prac.
FOUR.
rushing to trish's place.
FIVE.
rushing home.
SIX.
getting ready. trying on clothes. ransacking my whole cupboard, my sis's, my mum's.
SEVEN.
rushing down to safra.
EIGHT.
toiletting.
yes, thats about it. haha. somehow it doesnt seem so crazy after i typed it out. haha. but really, the day was all about running here and there. there wasnt enough time. man, imagine on christmas day itself !
carolling was yuck. haha. the singing only i guess. but we were all too high to bother ! the camwhoring and going crazy in the holding room, MAN. that was fun. wahaha :D i witnessed my dad and my mum both quarelling. you can say it was freaky yet hilarious. they couldnt make me happy and take a nice family photo ): they quarelled and the photo came out cacatly-awkward. haha. but they made up for it in the three generations picture. that looked really nice !
sabrina took a short video of the 'quarrel'. i was helpless. couldnt do anything, just asked them to TAKE THE PHOTO. haha. it was hilarious. the convo was funny. omg, im laughing to myself. SHH ALLY SHH.
some pictures we took ! LOLLS.
mummy and i(:
daddy and i (:
the awkward family photo. /:
mummy, ahlian and i.
gerald didi and i.
melvo !
lovelies :D
im no popeye !
three generations.
look at daddy-oh :D
auntie angie. aka. mama (:
t h e m :D -look at the red belts.
us and santa !
cari and christine(:
philip's behind that keyboard. wahaha :P
philip. THERE(:
the four of us all over again! hehheh.
the crazy three !
i look cacat /:
cari and leticia. cari's highlighted hair(:
SMILE ((:
im lazy. i need to sleep. haha. there'll be more after monday's carolling i think.
hehheh. the bikinis and the dripping water. mummy, lets do just that ! :D
ive got to wake up in a few hours. trisha's worse tho. so i shall not complain. and nevin, if youre reading this, im so sombong(: i'll say it until it gets into your head. haha.
sweet dreams are made of this.
let your heart out.
omg, how i missed the seniors.
huge thanks to nadia for that little note. it felt good to know that you understand(:
seniors are such crazy people. i absolutely love playing with that toy phone/camera/bubble. i so did not camwhore today !
why is everyone starting to apologise for this and that ? you. dont apologise. i didnt know your apology would actually make me cry.
crazy things have been happening. i've been complaining a whole lot. but i really needa thank my two dearies for knocking sense into me, getting me back on track. soekkhern and weizhen.
though it might seem im irritated by your comments or i cant be bothered with them, im taking all of them in. thanks for the little talks that we've had. thanks for the facts. love you (:
everything looks so polished and perfect on the outside, doesnt it ? but there's always the ugly side of it all. sometimes the ugly side gets shown. it spoils the whole image. ouch. it does hurt bad, i know the feeling. totally.
i get how it feels. now suddenly im seeing everything in a bigger picture. i know how you've been feeling all this while. yes, i know it pricks you so much. and for you, i know why you keep making so much noise about everything. i know how heartpain it is to keep doing and doing without receiving any appreciation at all. it's worse when you expected so much more of it. but instead, what you did caused more hurt to yourself. ouch ouch ouch. just gotta keep asking yourself why.
im practically tearing the paper with the pen. there's so many things to write about, so many feelings and emotions. but it's too much for me to write them down. how i wish everything can be remembered. those feelings and memories all captured in a single photo.
DONT TALK TO ME. im already trying to avoid you.
balancing on that fine line.
let your heart out.
BUT.
there's a limit to everything.
i thought i heard the end of it all. yet i had to go through a copy-and-paste version. i couldnt get mad.
c o n t r o l.
dont push it too far. stop using it as a reason to trap me. you know i've no way out once you start on that.
ugh. i just saw that.
it's just a mood swing, i hope. somehow i feel there's more to it.
dont talk to me. ohshhite, it's too late.
man, im being random yet again.
i lost it. all over again.
let your heart out.
there's loads to plan.
im meeting the excos practically every other day. if it's not the excos, it's the councillors. omg, there's still two more big events coming up. good luck to us.
carolling pracs are almost over.
we're seeing each other almost every night. guess things arent really going the way mummy wanted it to. was just wondering if there would be carolling again next year. it'll be after my Os. i'll be able to join you guys i guess. after the whole long year of 'parting'. i'll just have to hope and pray. -crosses fingers.
we spent five hours in macs. we did.
it was disappointing.
shouldve asked them how much i was looking forward to it.
stop it. stop it. stop it now.
im so random.
and you, it's only seed.
let your heart out.
i need to let everything out.
dont do this to me. not now please.
let your heart out.
i saw one tree hill season threee ! omg, but my dad said it might not be clear. bleahh- now i've gotta wait till andrea and victoria are done with it. if not, i'll have to wait till rachael gets it from her sis's friend.
ive decided not to blog about my penang trip. haha. im too lazy to. it's just nice (: i think the hotel has good service. haha.
im going to go outing with my mummy tomorrow. man, do i miss her loads ! haha. i've gotta go get a present for the council christmas party. im praying i dont forget ! haha. i've burst and told cari everything i needed to tell her and knowing us, we always come up with other crap to talk about. haha.
im searching for handphone themes now. thanks to sheryl dearie :D
ohmy, im blogging so rubbishly nowadays. haha. rubbishly. what kind of word ! haha. okay. but yes, really. it's all so vague but it's okay. i just give the main gist of it all. hopefully i'll have more to blog about soon.
everything changed in the wink of an eye. or was it just me ?
let your heart out.
cari. how can you leave me alone ! haha. come back come back.
heartbreaker. heartbreaker.
let your heart out.
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